Letter to my one year old son

                                                                                                 Date:  15 Feb, 2015

My baby boy,

In a few weeks you will achieve a big milestone of your life. You will turn one! Time literally just flew by. From a helpless newborn to a very naughty toddler, you have grown leaps and bounds.

March 1^st, 11:39am. Moments after I was taken in for my c section, dad and I heard your first cry. You were so little with so much hair! You gave us a new definition.  We were Swati and Sharath few moments ago, we were mom and dad now; mom and dad to a little bundle of joy, Shahshwat. From a couple we became a family. A family that constituted you, me and dad. You completed us in every possible way.

The past one year has been a roller coaster for both of us, to say the least.   You tried hard to fit into a new world and I tried hard to fit into a new role. Every day was a new day for both of us. We celebrated our small successes, wept over our failures and in the process gained a ton of life experience. I still remember the first time I was successfully able to breastfeed you. I felt like a winner! Do you remember the umpteen times you tried to crawl? You mastered the skill after 4 months of persistent efforts. What a celebration it was!

The past year was also a year of learning and teaching. You aced many motor skills but still have a long way to go with your language skills. You say ‘amma’ and associate the word with hunger and pain, not necessarily me. It’s funny how you say ‘amma’ and run into your dad’s arms at times. You taught me patience, you taught me resilience and you taught me multi-tasking and time management. I loved learning all my new skills and am glad to tell you that am getting pretty darn good at them J

The past year was also filled with umpteen challenges. From the day your paternal grandparents left to this day, you have fallen sick every other week. With sickness came food rejection, sleepless nights (for you and me) and extreme crankiness.  I will not lie. There have been moments when I thought I’ve reached the breaking point, that I cannot handle this ‘motherhood’ thing anymore.  We bounced back each time, you and me, thanks to your awesome dad. I remember this one incident when you were very ill and dad and I took turns to stay up with you entire night. I had an important presentation the next day with the CTO of the company. I woke up at 7, saw your sullen face and was not sure if I would be able to leave you and get going. Your dad decided to skip work and stay with you. He hugged me and said’ Do what you need to. I will stay back.’ I put on  my makeup and rocked the presentation with a game face. When I came back I felt blessed to see you all snuggled and happy with daddy.

 Finally, it was a year of bonding. A bond like no other.

A bond for a lifetime. You opened a part of me which I never knew existed. A part of me that is just open to you, my child.   It was my choice to have a career after having you. Financial independence has always been a very important aspect of my life. I hope you do not detest me for missing moments from your most formative years. I hope you grow up and be proud of this working mom.

 After a year of being with you, I can’t imagine my life without you.  I am still coping with the pace at which you are growing!  So long ….till Feb 15, 2016. Love you.


Yours always,
Amma